so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
