i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
