I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
