Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
i think my cat just said my name.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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