I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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