I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
