Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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