Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
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