am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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