If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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