If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
