I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
