It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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