The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
