If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
