I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
