Ambien. No doubt about it.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
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Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
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My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
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