They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize