This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Holy sore nipples Batman
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
