I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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