I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
