I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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