last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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