I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Watching her eat just hurts me
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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