Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
it's like heaven, but drunker
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
