tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
