Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
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I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
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Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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