Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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