I think i peed on brittanys purse
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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