I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
