So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
