Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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