No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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