I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize