the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
