all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
