yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
