evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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