Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
