do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
