It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
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Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You need a sexual gate keeper
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She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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