K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
