At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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