She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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