Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
they're like a gay fantastic four
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
