my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
We got so high we made milksteak
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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