Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
