Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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