Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Randomize
