I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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