I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
