Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
