Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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