im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
