Yo dont text me then not text me
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
The dick lei will go down in squad history
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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