At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
